Kathy and I just celebrated our 33rd anniversary.  In some ways it seems like yesterday when we walked down the aisle.  In other ways it seems like we've always been together.  I was in Seattle for my annual retreat and chapter with the Order of the Ascension, so it worked out perfectly for Kathy to come up at the end of that time for us to enjoy an anniversary weekend in that beautiful city.  

I feel so fortunate to be married to a beautiful life partner who is endowed with intelligence nigh to wisdom and a deep commitment to things that really count.  In my electronic calendar I have already entered an important day:  June 7, 2025 -- our 50th Anniversary.  That's a big deal to me.  I want to live with her long enough to celebrate that milestone of shared life.

It's not unusual for couples to come to the church to renew their vows and feast with friends on their Golden Anniversary.  It is always a holy and joyful celebration.  I wish everyone could go through life with the support and love that I've enjoyed.

Maybe you know the story of another loving couple who celebrated a milestone in their relationship recently.  They first met in 1950 and fell in love two years later, the year of my birth.  The next year they made their vows of commitment, and they've been together now for 55 years.  Reflecting on their beginnings, Phyllis says, "We really only had problems our first year together.  Del would leave shoes in the middle of the room, and I'd throw them out the window."  Del answered, "You'd have an argument with me and try to storm out the door.  I had to teach you to fight back."  

A week ago today, they were finally married.  Fifty-five years after they first pledged themselves to each other, they were married in the first same-gender wedding in California after their Supreme Court extended equal rights to gay and lesbian citizens to marry.

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon started the first national organization for support and advocacy on behalf of lesbian citizens.  In 1979 they helped start Lyon-Martin Health Services to offer nonjudgmental, affordable heath care.  It soon became a model for culturally sensitive community-based health care.  Last year the clinic expanded into the challenging work of offering sliding-scale mental health services.

More than a half century of loving faithfulness overflowing into life-giving community work.  Del and Phyllis have demonstrated in their lives what St. Paul's describes as "the fruit of the Spirit:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."  Paul adds emphatically, "There is no law against such things."  (Galatians 5:22f)

Yet we've got laws against such things.  And if a fearful group of mostly-Christian activists have their way, they will continue our sad heritage of discrimination against gay and lesbian Americans.  They call it "Defense of Marriage."  Hogwash.  My marriage isn't threatened by Del and Phyllis.  Neither is yours.  

We used to feel threatened by interracial couples, and we had laws against those marriages.  Bible quoting Christians told us that God had created the races separate and we'd better not mix them or we'll face terrible divine wrath.  Fear is a powerful emotion.

But love prevails.  And perfect love casts out fear.  I am confident that the love and fruitfulness that everyday people are witnessing in the lives of their everyday gay and lesbian neighbors is pulling our society inevitability toward the extension of liberty and justice for all.

On our anniversary, we got a note from Louie and Earnest.  They've been together a year and a half longer than Kathy and I have.  As he usually does, Louie wrote a little poem as part of his greeting.

                   Message on My Answering Machine

          Yes, this is just your spouse calling.
          Don't cook anything.
          I'm going to make my chicken dish
          for that recipe contest.
          So I'll see you this afternoon about sick,
          'six!'--can't even talk, I'm so groggy.
          And I'll bring the chicken with me.

          Goodbye.

There's nothing exotic or unnatural about these families and their love.  They are ordinary and extraordinary in the same way that all life-long love is.  Happy 35th Anniversary next February, Louie and Earnest.  And Happy 1st/56th Anniversary next June to Del and Phyllis.