On September 11, 2001, Naval officer Joan Darrah had to leave
early from her meeting in the Pentagon. Seven minutes later the room she had left was destroyed, and many of the colleagues
she had been meeting with were killed. Not long afterward it hit her. Had Joan died that day, Lynne, her partner
of twelve years would have been the last to know. Joan had not dared list Lynne's in Joan's military records.
In the next few days, Joan attended a dozen memorial services. She went alone. Married officers had
the solace of a spouse's arm or shoulder at the emotional funerals. But, when Joan needed the support of her closest
companion, it was impossible.
Gay and lesbian persons may serve legally in the military, as long as they
do not acknowledge being gay or engaging in homosexual acts. Any such acknowledgment elicits an immediate discharge.
Joan Darrah was a highly competent, hard-charging career military officer. She was the first woman to serve
as the Deputy Commander and Chief of Staff of the Naval Intelligence Headquarters in Maryland, overseeing 1,500 personnel.
In 1993 when she was selected for promotion to Navy Captain (comparable to Colonel in the other branches), the Admiral on
her selection board sought her out prior to the ceremony to give her glowing praise. He said that she was the kind of
officer the Navy needs, and that he was proud to support her promotion. Five minutes later while addressing the whole
group, the same Admiral told the gathering that there was absolutely no place for gays in the military.
During
her thirty-year career, Joan lived with the daily anxiety: Will this be the day when I'm discovered? She says
it took great energy. "Imagine going two weeks without speaking of your wife, knowing the mere mention of her would
cause you to be fired on the spot without regard to your performance," she challenged me. "Now multiply that
into thirty years."
Joan says that having to hide a part of yourself from your comrades compromises
the critical bonds of honesty essential to military teamwork. Now retired, even today she finds it hard to share fully,
having hid a part of herself for thirty years. Joan says that the military policy of "Don't Ask; Don't
Tell" is simply job discrimination based on homophobic fear, and that it is bad for the military and our country.
Rear Admiral Jamie Barnett is convinced that it is time for a change in the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
(DADT) policy. Speaking as an active flag officer and out of his "duty to tell" whenever he encounters something
that compromises military preparedness, he contends that the policy is bad for recruiting and bad for military preparedness.
Admiral Barnett knows something about preparedness. He was the Director of Naval Education and Training
and led the Navy's Center for Personal Development. (Disclosure: Admiral Barnett is married to my sister and
is a dear friend.)
The military has spent over $360 million dollars since 1993 to discharge service members under
DADT. We've lost at least 58 Arabic linguists as well as over 12,000 people, including highly trained engineers,
medics, pilots, and Sergeant Majors who take over twenty years to grow.
An estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian
persons serve legally in today's U.S. Armed Forces. It would be devastating to lose these patriotic people who want
to serve their nation. Each year 3,000 gay service members leave; many cite the pressures that Joan speaks of, pressures
that make them feel unwelcome or even unsafe within their units.
There have been no studies that show that the
presence of gay or lesbians in the military is bad for discipline. In fact, just the opposite. A significant RAND
Co. study in 1993 recommended full incorporation of gay and lesbian personnel, and suggested that the experience of integrating
blacks and other minorities into the military offers a strong precedent. Twenty-four other countries, including Israel,
welcome gay and lesbians into their military to good effect. (And the Israeli Army is not into making social statements.)
When Harry Truman proposed that blacks be admitted to full service in the military, opponents voiced their fears:
"What if a boy from Alabama finds himself in a foxhole with a Negro?" Those fears were baseless. The
military has become one of the most successful race-neutral organizations in the nation. White soldiers returning from
serving with the black colleagues helped promote the Civil Rights movement. When you've risked your lives together,
how can you stand for inequality when you return to civilian life?
Admiral Barnett believes things are changing.
He finds in his conversation among other senior officers, many think reversing the ban would be no big deal. Last Thursday
the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals reversed the discharge of a decorated Air Force Nurse under the DADT policy. The
court sent the case back, requiring officials to prove that Major Margaret Witt's presence in her unit actually hurt morale,
and that the only way to improve morale would be her discharge. That proof is unlikely, since ten members of her unit
praised her performance regardless of her sexual orientation and asked for her reinstatement.
"I want
to serve my country... I am proud of my career and want to continue doing my job," said Major Witt. "Wounded
people never asked me about my sexual orientation. They were just glad to see me there."
On this Memorial
Day when we remember and give thanks for all of our veterans, especially those who have given their last full measure of devotion,
please include in your prayers those gay and lesbian warriors who have died for their country, and pray for those who serve
today despite the shadow over them. Pray that for the sake of our military and for those who serve, that we can overcome
our fear and prejudice, and promote a more effective and proficient Armed Force that allows our gay members to serve openly
and honestly.
